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Dave and Marian have their say.
We have been asked to write a few words about fostering.
Well thinking back over the past five years I won’t find it difficult to do this. First, (without sounding too sickly sweet) I would like to say a big thank you to Hackney for giving our family the opportunity to be involved in fostering. It has certainly changed our lives. Some things about fostering we expected beforehand but others have been totally unexpected. I hope to highlight just some of these.
At first you have to be there for the children but this quickly gets taken over by events and emotions that we could not foresee. Especially when we have had babies. Neighbours have become aunts and uncles; a community spirit has grown. A neighbour will pop in and say “oh while I was out I saw this outfit and just had to get it for him or her”. You become the pack supplier for brownie’s or cubs; I know the brownie promise by heart now. Our local supermarket knows us by name, or should I say by the amount of cereal we have to buy. The school run takes in four or five stops and you have to remember all the teachers’ names, your community grows.
Your known at the library by the amount of cards you have, and by how many books you have forgotten to return. You need a traffic lollypop when you go to the park because the older foster children have made friends with the local children and ask, “can James, Desmond, Amy and Charmaine come too”. Six or seven under 10’s on bikes, yes I’m going grey.
Of course there are heartaches, when a child leaves you and your eldest boy who you thought never took much interest in fostering is stamping around in his room. You ask him “what’s wrong”, “I didn’t want James to go he was like a brother”, he replies, well we never saw that one coming.
Fostering brings out your feelings and emotions. For the hurt you have to find answers, for the joy you can smile to yourself.
One answer that helps us with a child leaving, and it helps our children as well, is if we say to ourselves that if we had never fostered we would never have met them. It is better to have been a little part of their lives than no part at all.
I think my children have gained so much from fostering, understanding, caring and non-racial attitudes and sort of worldly. Oh and it’s put them off ever becoming social workers (just kidding).
I’ve only scratched the surface of what fostering has brought to us, there’s so much more to tell, perhaps another time.
Fostering is definitely for us and I hope it will be for you too.
